One Year Later

This past Saturday May 15, 2010, marked one year since the last time I cut myself. If you haven't been reading the blog from before, just a little synopsis...I had been involved in self-injury and anorexia for about three years up until last year when God really got a hold of my life. He has been changing me ever since. With it being one year already I definitely wanted to journal about it and tell anyone who wanted to know about it. My day as a person who stopped cutting one year ago was a normal day from an outsiders point of view. But for me, the one who actually completed an insane goal-one of the biggest for me ever, it was so much more. There were people that encouraged me without realizing it. Lunch was good. I ate with my friends, Brian and Terry and I had an amazing talk with them. I worked in the Lounge after lunch but I didn't hate it one bit. Terry came in after he was done working in the kitchen and brought his french press coffee maker with him. So we got to enjoy some great coffee and study for tests and just enjoy talking with each other. I just feel really comfy being around Terry, I feel confident around him. I think it's cause he's older spiritually and physically and he's been through life and knows what it's like. After work I went to dinner and had a lot of crazy fun with my friends at the dinner table. We were laughing and goofing off and putting that memory into the banks of my head. My friends here, even though they may not know what has happened in my life, they make a difference for the better and I will miss that. Next year, no one will know me like my friends here, they won't know or realize what I have been through, so it will be different allowing new people to see me for who I am and who God has made me to be. Last night (Friday) I was practically yelling at my brother Joe, through texting, and when I apologized saturday morning, all he basically told me was that he wanted to hug me and told me that he loved me. My relationship with Joe is unique. He's my brother, but he's not at the same time. He's my surrogate brother who has helped me through so much the last two years. I am going to miss him the most out of everyone I have gotten to know in the last two years. Looking back again at the year I have gone through, all I can say is Praise God because none of that glory belongs to me. God's grace brought me through all of the hard times and the struggles. Sure I had friends to help me, and I thank God for them, but they don't measure up to who Jesus is to me now. I have changed so much for the better, I can't think of ever going back to the way I was. I thank God for who He has made me to be, and how I have been able to use my life as a testimony to the power of God's healing hand in someone's life. I told God that I wanted to influence people and He is granting me this wish as I continue in my walk with Him. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!

~Samwise the Brave~